Selfless Living
(Written August 6, 2009)
We buried my grandfather to his final resting place exactly a week ago. Lolo Tol (or Asti popularly known) was a city counselor in the 2nd district of Makati. He served 3 terms of being a counselor. One of his greatest contributions to the city was implementing the “No Smoking” in public places within Makati. Mayor Binay, asked him to make a resolution prohibiting smoking in public places and designating common smoking areas. And yet, he died of lung cancer.
During the eulogy, my Tito told about the pain he felt for Lolo’s passing. He told us the story.
“Alam ninyo, malaki ang tampo namin sa Papa… dahil matagal siyang nawala sa amin dahil sa paglilingkod sa tao, sa inyo. At noong matapos na ang kanyang termino bilang konsehal, bumalik siya sa amin na mahina at may sakit na. Halos lahat ng oras niya binigay niya sa taong bayan. At iniwan kami…”
Then he continued his story about my Lolo’s pain.
“Alam ninyo rin, malaki ang tampo ng Papa sa simbahan. Yung simban natin sa Pembo, dati basketball court lang iyon, pero si Papa ang nag-ayos para doon itayo ang simbahan natin. Hanggang ngayon, sa kanya pa rin nakapangalan ang kuntador ng kuryente. Pero noong magkasakit si Mama, nanghingi kami sa simbahan ng tulong para mabasbasan man lang sana si Mama bago mamamatay. Ang sinabi ng pari sa amin, wala daw silang mapapdala dahil marami silang ginagawa. At noong mamatay si Mama, humingi kami ng tulong para man lang ma-misahan si Mama, pero kulang daw sila ng pari. Tapos noong kumuha naman kami ng pari sa labas, nagalit naman sa amin na dapat daw magpaalam muna bago magmisa yung inimbitahan naming pari. Kaya simula noon, hindi na nagsimba sa parokya si Papa. Doon siya sa malayo…”
“Marami natulong si Papa sa mga tao, hanggang sa talikuran niya ang sariling pamilya para maglingkod sa taong bayan. Noong nawala siya sa kapangyarihan, ang mga tao unti-unti na rin nawala. Kaya sabi ng Papa… pag namatay ako, wag ninyo ako iburol sa atin. Doon ninyo ako iburol sa malayo. Hayaan natin kung sino lang ang makaalala…”
My Tito spoke in a small room full of people, but it was relatively small room. I asked myself “where are the other nine?” Is this the price of offering your life for the sake of the people?
=====
Yesterday, I joined the Filipino people who said goodbye to Tita Cory. The night before that, I braved the rains and the long lines just to take a glimpse and say goodbye to a leader whom influenced me so much. I remember one time, after the Jun Lozada mass which I served as an Acolyte she invited us to have lunch in their house in Green Meadows. The family was there (except for Kris) and I had the chance to break bread with the well known Senator Noynoy, Aquino and exchange stories with Tita Pinky whom I found so welcoming and bubbly. And of course, I had the chance to exchange stories with Tita Cory.
Walking all the way from Intramuros to Manila Memorial Park is just my own way of thanking her and showing my love to a leader and a president who have showed integrity, consistency, courage and deep faith.
After her death, The Philippine Daily wrote in their headline “A great gift we lost”, but I say “A great gift we had” because her legacy will continue as I myself, will carry out her mission in the things that I can. In the words of Fr. Catalino Arevalo, SJ said in his homily during the funeral mass “Thank you Father in heaven, for your gift to us of Cory Aquino. Thank you that she passed once this way through our lives with the grace you gave her to share with us. If we give her back to you, we do it with grateful hearts, but now, oh, with breaking hearts also, because of the greatness and beauty of the gift which she was for us, the gift you have now taken back to yourself; a gift the like of which, perhaps, we shall not know again. Salamat po, Tita Cory, mahal na mahal po namin kayo.”
======
Do we know a selfish person who is really happy? These two lives, two different stories, one common similarity which is forgetting oneself and offering their lives to other people. When we try to live as if our lives are about ourselves, we either end up too full of ourselves or too empty of everything else, inflated or depressed. Put simply, we either end up dying in selflessness on one hill or we end up full of ourselves and self-hatred on some other hill!
There is a reason for this. We are made in God’s image and likeness and, because of this, carry inside of ourselves an immense fire; a fire for love, creativity, glory, greatness, and transcendence. But that deep, restless, insatiable, burning energy is not simply a chaotic one, as Freud believed. It’s a configured energy, an energy arranged in clear, meaningful patterns. We burn with fire, but it is a fire with meaning, purpose, and direction.
What is its meaning? It is a fire to carry others, feed others, and create delight for them, even as it is an energy to die for them. It is a fire to act as Jesus did and therefore it is a fire for crucifixion, for martyrdom. We are born to live for others and we are born to die for them, with one and the same energy, and we are only happy when we are about the business of doing both.
This is the deep instinctual pattern written into the soul itself and it posits that real maturity lies in being stretched truly tall, on some cross, in crucifixion.
We buried my grandfather to his final resting place exactly a week ago. Lolo Tol (or Asti popularly known) was a city counselor in the 2nd district of Makati. He served 3 terms of being a counselor. One of his greatest contributions to the city was implementing the “No Smoking” in public places within Makati. Mayor Binay, asked him to make a resolution prohibiting smoking in public places and designating common smoking areas. And yet, he died of lung cancer.
During the eulogy, my Tito told about the pain he felt for Lolo’s passing. He told us the story.
“Alam ninyo, malaki ang tampo namin sa Papa… dahil matagal siyang nawala sa amin dahil sa paglilingkod sa tao, sa inyo. At noong matapos na ang kanyang termino bilang konsehal, bumalik siya sa amin na mahina at may sakit na. Halos lahat ng oras niya binigay niya sa taong bayan. At iniwan kami…”
Then he continued his story about my Lolo’s pain.
“Alam ninyo rin, malaki ang tampo ng Papa sa simbahan. Yung simban natin sa Pembo, dati basketball court lang iyon, pero si Papa ang nag-ayos para doon itayo ang simbahan natin. Hanggang ngayon, sa kanya pa rin nakapangalan ang kuntador ng kuryente. Pero noong magkasakit si Mama, nanghingi kami sa simbahan ng tulong para mabasbasan man lang sana si Mama bago mamamatay. Ang sinabi ng pari sa amin, wala daw silang mapapdala dahil marami silang ginagawa. At noong mamatay si Mama, humingi kami ng tulong para man lang ma-misahan si Mama, pero kulang daw sila ng pari. Tapos noong kumuha naman kami ng pari sa labas, nagalit naman sa amin na dapat daw magpaalam muna bago magmisa yung inimbitahan naming pari. Kaya simula noon, hindi na nagsimba sa parokya si Papa. Doon siya sa malayo…”
“Marami natulong si Papa sa mga tao, hanggang sa talikuran niya ang sariling pamilya para maglingkod sa taong bayan. Noong nawala siya sa kapangyarihan, ang mga tao unti-unti na rin nawala. Kaya sabi ng Papa… pag namatay ako, wag ninyo ako iburol sa atin. Doon ninyo ako iburol sa malayo. Hayaan natin kung sino lang ang makaalala…”
My Tito spoke in a small room full of people, but it was relatively small room. I asked myself “where are the other nine?” Is this the price of offering your life for the sake of the people?
=====
Yesterday, I joined the Filipino people who said goodbye to Tita Cory. The night before that, I braved the rains and the long lines just to take a glimpse and say goodbye to a leader whom influenced me so much. I remember one time, after the Jun Lozada mass which I served as an Acolyte she invited us to have lunch in their house in Green Meadows. The family was there (except for Kris) and I had the chance to break bread with the well known Senator Noynoy, Aquino and exchange stories with Tita Pinky whom I found so welcoming and bubbly. And of course, I had the chance to exchange stories with Tita Cory.
Walking all the way from Intramuros to Manila Memorial Park is just my own way of thanking her and showing my love to a leader and a president who have showed integrity, consistency, courage and deep faith.
After her death, The Philippine Daily wrote in their headline “A great gift we lost”, but I say “A great gift we had” because her legacy will continue as I myself, will carry out her mission in the things that I can. In the words of Fr. Catalino Arevalo, SJ said in his homily during the funeral mass “Thank you Father in heaven, for your gift to us of Cory Aquino. Thank you that she passed once this way through our lives with the grace you gave her to share with us. If we give her back to you, we do it with grateful hearts, but now, oh, with breaking hearts also, because of the greatness and beauty of the gift which she was for us, the gift you have now taken back to yourself; a gift the like of which, perhaps, we shall not know again. Salamat po, Tita Cory, mahal na mahal po namin kayo.”
======
Do we know a selfish person who is really happy? These two lives, two different stories, one common similarity which is forgetting oneself and offering their lives to other people. When we try to live as if our lives are about ourselves, we either end up too full of ourselves or too empty of everything else, inflated or depressed. Put simply, we either end up dying in selflessness on one hill or we end up full of ourselves and self-hatred on some other hill!
There is a reason for this. We are made in God’s image and likeness and, because of this, carry inside of ourselves an immense fire; a fire for love, creativity, glory, greatness, and transcendence. But that deep, restless, insatiable, burning energy is not simply a chaotic one, as Freud believed. It’s a configured energy, an energy arranged in clear, meaningful patterns. We burn with fire, but it is a fire with meaning, purpose, and direction.
What is its meaning? It is a fire to carry others, feed others, and create delight for them, even as it is an energy to die for them. It is a fire to act as Jesus did and therefore it is a fire for crucifixion, for martyrdom. We are born to live for others and we are born to die for them, with one and the same energy, and we are only happy when we are about the business of doing both.
This is the deep instinctual pattern written into the soul itself and it posits that real maturity lies in being stretched truly tall, on some cross, in crucifixion.
posted by r a i m e n d o z a at 12:25 PM
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