Christmas Morn
From a distance I heard a clock radio was playing a tender Christmas tune, and I woke up to another day of infinite wonder and promise. I felt the sun began to shine on my forehead, for a moment I woke up from a dream. It was Christmas morning. I rose up from my bed, sat for a while and keeping alive the r we had last night during the Noche Buena and opening of presents. It was really a happy one. I got up, and went down to the kitchen. No one is awake, perhaps everybody slept late. And so I went upstairs again, and this time I am going to wake up someone. The door was slightly opened, so I slowly entered the door. There I saw this woman gently sleeping. I sat on chair beside her bed. Quietly I watched her sleep. Her hair was like flowing water lying on the pillow case. Her cheek was tenderly kissed by the ray of the sun. Her red lips tenderly closed and her eyelashes are evidently curved as her chinky eyes were still peacefully resting. I found myself looking at her dreaming of new tomorrows with her. She was beautiful. That particular sight forever imprinted in my mind, as it reminds me of what Christmas morning looked like: kind, gentle and serene.
She was a good friend. We were introduced when they have an exposure in our school and different provinces here in the country. I was a bit hesitant to talk to her. Along with other guys who are having a year of service here in the Philippines, I assisted them going to the different offices. She and I had a little chat. For a moment, I felt different for her, in this life, it's a rare gift to find someone you can connect with in every area. It is as if this person is your kindred spirit. We had good laugh together, exchanging friendly banters to each other and most specially, we had really deep conversations. Days passed by, and friendship grew deeper each day. However, there are some realities that held us back. And suddenly, what used to be beautiful and good have to end. We decided to part ways. They say that what love you have failed to give you will lose it forever, and from then on you will just know that the moment had just passed you by. True enough, she had someone new and it was such a bitter pill to swallow.
It wasn’t easy when I was experiencing that. Many of us love to dig back in the past and entertain ourselves with the thought of living it all over again. I know that God does not give us a burden that is beyond our capacity to bear. So I moved on. I moved on with a heavy heart. I moved on and lost everything that I have. There realized that God's ways aren't always easy and painless. Some are meant to open our eyes to what we do not see. Some are meant to make us realize what we stubbornly refuse to understand. Though I lost her, my thoughts continue to be with her, without her knowing that during those days, I continued to pray for her. I prayed that she may have a happy life with her husband, a good family and I prayed that she may be protected from any harm. And for myself, I prayed and hoped that somewhere in His time there will be hope in finding love, joy in sharing it and happiness in being able to keep it forever.
The Christmas, of that year wasn’t been the same. After the Christmas Eve mass I walked alone. I remember that particular Christmas morning. And I tried to hold it in my heart as long as I could. Looking at the Christmas star, I wished that I could go back to that particular time. I remember what my friend told me when I had a counseling session with him. He said “if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. If you lose love that doesn’t mean that you have failed in love. Cry, if you have to but make sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left you with. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you.” And yes, letting go hurts even worse.
As time passes, the hurts have been healed. The picture of my Christmas morn never faded in my mind. From time to time, I hear myself praying for her for no apparent reasons. Hoping that even my prayers I could talk to her, which could make her feel that there is someone for her that continues to be with her even in spirit. That gives me hope, even though I didn’t end up with her, I still desire the best for her. I believe in the power of prayer. That through prayers you could reach the most distant person, wherever she may be. This is the beginning of always.
No matter how two people being separated by time and distance, if they are meant to each other, no matter the circumstances they will meet again. And you might drop in out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling. Our paths have crossed again, and this time there is no letting go. This time, this will be forever. Last October 26th of this year was the most memorable day of my life when the woman of my dreams and I walked down the aisle, and it was a promise like a reward of persisting through life so long alone. A belief in each other and the possibility of love, a decision to ignore simply the past and rise above the pain. A covenant which once binds two souls yet severs prior ties. It was a celebration of the chance taken and the challenge that lies ahead. For the two us ill be stronger, and love will always be the guiding force in our lives.
To my beautiful and lovely wife, I wonder if you have any idea how many lives you touch. You’re probably not even aware that people have been inspired and hearts have been uplifted because of you. I am not talking about the big, showy things that get written up in the newspapers or make the six o’clock news. I am talking about the little everyday things you do so easily, like a compliment when someone is feeling down, a word of praise that validates somebody’s dream, a smile that seems to say “I accept you just as you are.” It seems that goodness in your heart just spills over and spreads happy feelings to everyone around you. I thank you for the yesterdays and new tomorrows. And I want to let you know, I am one of those people whose life is happier because you are in this world. You are the best thing that ever happened to me in a long time. I love you.
This year, this is our first Christmas as husband and wife. Though we are apart now, I still remember our first Christmas together. I believe that in my dreams that you are here with me celebrating Christmas, and will forever go back to that particular sight forever imprinted in my mind, as it reminds me of what Christmas morning looked like: kind, gentle and serene.
She was a good friend. We were introduced when they have an exposure in our school and different provinces here in the country. I was a bit hesitant to talk to her. Along with other guys who are having a year of service here in the Philippines, I assisted them going to the different offices. She and I had a little chat. For a moment, I felt different for her, in this life, it's a rare gift to find someone you can connect with in every area. It is as if this person is your kindred spirit. We had good laugh together, exchanging friendly banters to each other and most specially, we had really deep conversations. Days passed by, and friendship grew deeper each day. However, there are some realities that held us back. And suddenly, what used to be beautiful and good have to end. We decided to part ways. They say that what love you have failed to give you will lose it forever, and from then on you will just know that the moment had just passed you by. True enough, she had someone new and it was such a bitter pill to swallow.
It wasn’t easy when I was experiencing that. Many of us love to dig back in the past and entertain ourselves with the thought of living it all over again. I know that God does not give us a burden that is beyond our capacity to bear. So I moved on. I moved on with a heavy heart. I moved on and lost everything that I have. There realized that God's ways aren't always easy and painless. Some are meant to open our eyes to what we do not see. Some are meant to make us realize what we stubbornly refuse to understand. Though I lost her, my thoughts continue to be with her, without her knowing that during those days, I continued to pray for her. I prayed that she may have a happy life with her husband, a good family and I prayed that she may be protected from any harm. And for myself, I prayed and hoped that somewhere in His time there will be hope in finding love, joy in sharing it and happiness in being able to keep it forever.
The Christmas, of that year wasn’t been the same. After the Christmas Eve mass I walked alone. I remember that particular Christmas morning. And I tried to hold it in my heart as long as I could. Looking at the Christmas star, I wished that I could go back to that particular time. I remember what my friend told me when I had a counseling session with him. He said “if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. If you lose love that doesn’t mean that you have failed in love. Cry, if you have to but make sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left you with. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you.” And yes, letting go hurts even worse.
As time passes, the hurts have been healed. The picture of my Christmas morn never faded in my mind. From time to time, I hear myself praying for her for no apparent reasons. Hoping that even my prayers I could talk to her, which could make her feel that there is someone for her that continues to be with her even in spirit. That gives me hope, even though I didn’t end up with her, I still desire the best for her. I believe in the power of prayer. That through prayers you could reach the most distant person, wherever she may be. This is the beginning of always.
No matter how two people being separated by time and distance, if they are meant to each other, no matter the circumstances they will meet again. And you might drop in out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling. Our paths have crossed again, and this time there is no letting go. This time, this will be forever. Last October 26th of this year was the most memorable day of my life when the woman of my dreams and I walked down the aisle, and it was a promise like a reward of persisting through life so long alone. A belief in each other and the possibility of love, a decision to ignore simply the past and rise above the pain. A covenant which once binds two souls yet severs prior ties. It was a celebration of the chance taken and the challenge that lies ahead. For the two us ill be stronger, and love will always be the guiding force in our lives.
To my beautiful and lovely wife, I wonder if you have any idea how many lives you touch. You’re probably not even aware that people have been inspired and hearts have been uplifted because of you. I am not talking about the big, showy things that get written up in the newspapers or make the six o’clock news. I am talking about the little everyday things you do so easily, like a compliment when someone is feeling down, a word of praise that validates somebody’s dream, a smile that seems to say “I accept you just as you are.” It seems that goodness in your heart just spills over and spreads happy feelings to everyone around you. I thank you for the yesterdays and new tomorrows. And I want to let you know, I am one of those people whose life is happier because you are in this world. You are the best thing that ever happened to me in a long time. I love you.
This year, this is our first Christmas as husband and wife. Though we are apart now, I still remember our first Christmas together. I believe that in my dreams that you are here with me celebrating Christmas, and will forever go back to that particular sight forever imprinted in my mind, as it reminds me of what Christmas morning looked like: kind, gentle and serene.
posted by r a i m e n d o z a at 8:26 PM
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