Freeing Oneself

I went out to visit her resting place this morning. This was my own way of celebrating V-day every year. But I told her today that this is going to be the last year I will be able to visit her. I am saying goodbye and fully let go. I have examined my life that most of the the unfreedom that I feel is coming from this experience. I know she wants me to be free and happy, I have to help also myself. And this is the best thing I can do. And this is my realization.

I have always said to myself, time and again, that the hardest people to forget are the people we love. Many time that I have said that I’ve accepted that it’s over between the both of us, but I still haven’t accepted that the woman I have loved so much is in love is gone forever. Deep in my heart, I still wish for her return. These thoughts keep me connected to her. Unless I am able to find a way to detach myself from my wishful thoughts then it will be very difficult to move on.

Most of us live in the past even if it hurts because we would rather mourn over lost love than take the risk of loving again. We shut our eyes, ears and our hearts to people around us and to the hope of finding love again. I know that we all have our own sad stories to tell. Others even have worst experiences with the people they have loved. But no matter how painful life and loving can be, God never fails to give us strength to bear it. He never fails to let the sun shine through even during the darkest and stormiest moments in our lives. He makes us fall, not to hurt us, but to teach us that we should never give up despite our failures. He makes us cry, not to make us miserable, but to make us realize how important love is. And most of all, he takes away a person from us, not because we don’t deserve him but because he has someone better for us. That’s how it always works. We just have to believe that there is still life after losing love and sometimes, that life will be better because it can be shared with people.