Exodus

Last Monday, I said goodbye to a friend who, after 3 years of discerning, found his happiness outside the Society. It was a short goodbye, though I must admit that I am not really good at it. Assuring him of nothing will change, except for the fact that we will no longer see each other everyday. Last Tuesday, an old priest whom I have known when I went to Cebu died last Tuesday morning. I remember him as the gentle giant who presides mass at 6am in the school chapel for kids and teachers. He always laugh at my jokes when I sit beside him at the dining table. He went peacefully with God, and left us permanently.

I am not fond of gossips, but I heard that another friend was thinking about leaving also. I tried talking to him but I feel he needs space to think about it. Each of us need to respect one's disposition and feeling. But that was just the tip of the iceberg. Someone told me that they are not the only one who is thinking abut leaving the society. Another one I know from south, a priest and an old priest too. I don't know what's with this year and it seem to be an exodus for some of us.

I sound like being affected and the answer is yes. Thinking of it is somehow discouraging. However, looking at them and knowing that they are at peace with their decision makes me more envious. I guess that is all we are seeking for, the feeling of peace. Looking at them and knowing that they have searched and found what they are looking and being peace with its all that I ever wanted. I wish that I will have the courage to do whatever God wants me to take. Making the right decision and never look back to whatever I have left. That out of freedom I may be able to choose the right "shoes" and holding on to it forever.