Passivity as Passivity

Fear is the passivity as passivity -- that is, the fear before something that has not yet come. and as it still has not come, we cannot control it, we cannot do anything before it. Simply put, we wait for it passively...

These little experiences of fear in our life -- fear before our future; fear before the possibility (the probability) of losing our health; fear before others... fear before things that produce in us that strange powerless sensation of "not being able to do anything".

That amateur experience, which students know very well, of those minutes before the exam. That minute of absolute passivity, of fear. One still does not know what one will be asked. They are those distressing minutes in which one thinks one's memory has been erased. Because afterwards it will be already different. Because, the moment the question comes, the whole organism reacts; then we already have something to do, something to answer... we make the effort -- we go through the corners of our brain searching for lost data, and we have already entered into activity. Then one has already gone through that purely passive sensation of fear.

Christ in Gethsemane, passed through this purely passive fear. The Passion will come properly as such afterwards. Christ will be taken into tribunals. He will have to react, He will have to respond to Sanhedrin; He will have to speak with Pilate. But not yet. He simply waits. He waits for that which closes in on Him and from above and in front of Him, about which He can do nothing but to fear. To be afraid.

Hope for Clean Elections

Few hours from now, we will end Gabay Halalan. From May 1 to 15 at 9am to 9pm we answered calls from Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao inquring the Senatoriables platform and background plus the issues they are facing; Party List information; local candidates list; voting information including thier precinct.

I must say... the hope of the future lies to these volunteers who gave thier time for us to have a clean and honest election. Yes, there are ugly things that are happening in the political scene but this doesn't mean that we have stop to hope. These ugly things have brought also something good in each of the Filipinos that are dreaming for a better nation and better future. This is the meaning of grace I guess, after all the evil that had happened and still happening; it brings out the good in each of everyone of us Filipinos.

To all those who volunteered, congratulations and see you in 2010!

The Search For 4 Million Pesos

One of our projects this summer is the Gabay Halalan, a toll free service for all PLDT subscribers. This is project is part of the VforCE or volunteers for clean elections, which aims to educate the Filipino people through landlines which they can access the basic information about thier candidates and for them to have an educated vote.

One of the services we also wanted to give is the voters precinct number. In order to do that, we need to have the voters list. I have known one COMELEC official, whom I have met in TV appearance last April 28 (naks!) and he promised me to give the entire voters list of the country. He told me just to bring cds so that i can copy the whole file (i even bought with me cd burner and 10 cd's to be sure) and sure enough it was a large file.

I arranged a meeting with him (he is the director for operations of the entire nation) at 3pm. We arrived there at exactly 250pm, went to his office. One of his staff asked me who am I looking for. Then I said the whole story. But the executive director still wasn't there... he had a meeting en banc. And the chairman asked him to be there. And I have to wait. I told his staff about our meeting and the favor I am asking. She went to another staff who I think is in charge of those file. She came back to me, and told me about the file that I was asking.... and this is the most surprising event of my life. In order to have those files, I need to pay 4 MILLION pesos! Whew! I felt that moment my head turned, and feel like throwing up... FOUR MILLION PESOS?!!?! Where the hell will I get that obscene amount? I didn't have that moment 500 pesos in my wallet that moment. There was a COMELEC resolution explaining the process to have the voters list. I asked for the copy of the resolution, but even that I have to pay. I HAVE TO PAY FOR A PUBLIC DOCUMENT that is supposed to be free. I felt that moment walking through that office has a price even... tsk... What a way to have an national elections.

So we went home feeling bad, we didn't get that freakin' list. And to make matters worse, when we got to the parking lot. Our car was towed! Haaayyyy... talk about a lucky day

How my P50 tsinelas saved me

I don't own an expensive flip-flops. Instead I have the imitation. It's called "Havana" and I bought it for P50 pesos only in Riverbanks Marikina. I don't think I would ever afford to but those expensive tsinelas that costs around P800 per pair. Instead, I have the most fashionable tsinelas with the flag of Brazil on its toe-thongs (is that what call it?) hahaha! I don't know.

One day, I went to an exclusive clubs in Baguio wearing my "flip-flops" (talk about intellectual property rights no?) and I didn't know that wearing tsinelas is forbidden. Upon entering a lady guard approached me.
"Sir kakain po ba kayo sa balcony"
"Opo sana" I answered.
"Sir! Di po pwede ang tsinelas dun eh... dapat magpalit po kayo"
"Naku, nadun na po yung mga kasama ko. Ma'am kahit sandali lang, may meeting lang po kami."
(and after a long debate, I went ahead to the balcony. But one of the waiter chased me, and told me my predicament.) And until a looooongggg battle defending my tsinelas, they asked me to talked to the manager of the restaurant. Then I told a great lie.
"Sir (nag english na ako) I am sorry, would you allow me to eat wearing my "flip-flops?" (the biggest lie... tsinelas lang tawag ko dun eh) and saying that with a "paawa effect"
"May I see sir" (then he looked on my tsinelas and saw the flag of brazil)
"Ah ok sir! Its a decent flip-flops naman I guess... but just please hide your feet inside the table so that others wont see it."

Whew! If they only knew how much this tsinelas costs, and clearly its a triumph of violating the intellectual property rights.