Fallin'

(from my files in College, I accidentally found this one and I think its worth sharing)

My friend likes the song "fallin", I remember when we had our Lenten retreat, she was sharing me her reflection about this song..to be honest, I like the melody and that's it. But when she started detailing her own understanding of the song, I got impressed! And I think this is worth sharing... It has taken me quite a number of years before I was able to write my reflection on this song. I think now is the best time for me to sit down and write what is in my head and in my heart, before I can no longer remember.

"I'm afraid to fly

and I don't know why

I'm jealous of the people who

are not afraid to die"

Falling in love is the greatest and most wonderful gift. The sky is bluer and it seems that flowers are blooming everywhere. Indeed, what an exhilarating feeling it is to love and be loved in return. Here's the challenge though: when one loves, one dies. I don't mean the physical death, but death to oneself. You see, when you are in love, you place that person's needs above your own. Loving entails a lot of sacrifices. Personal preferences are thrown out the window in place of something that was mutually agreed on or sometimes one just chose to give up her own preference because love dictates it. I admire the brave ones who can do just that, make the decision to love and allow themselves to be swept by the "magic" and mystery of it all- To trust someone with their life and accept the commitment to be there for each other always, for better or for worse.

"It's just that I recall, back when I was small

someone promised that they'd catch me

but then they let me fall?.."

It's weird what one does all for the sake of love. It's sad to admit that there are also those
who just love when it is convenient for them, when thing are going smoothly, the way they wanted it, the way the planned it. It's true colors are uncovered when trials sets in. Will they hold on or will they give up?

"And now I'm falling, fallin' fast again

Why do I always take a fall

When I fall in love?"

And then you begin to ask yourself, why did I allow myself to fall in love? to be hurt? Why am I so stupid and stubborn? I should never let it happen again! Only to find yourself falling in love again? But then, who can really resist the call to love?

"You think by now I've learned

Play with fire you get burned

But fire can be oh so warm,

That's why I return?"

The call to love is inherent and real. It is part of our humanity, to respond to love that is freely given. In the first place, it was God who first loved us and called us to love in return? Though it was not easy loving foolish and stubborn humans, still, He loved us because it is His nature, because God is love.

"Turn and walk away

That's what I should do

My head says go and find the door

My heart says I found you?"

We can never turn away from our nature-that is to love. No matter what our head says, the decision to love lies in the heart.

"It always turns out the same

Loving someone, losing myself

I only got me to blame?"

I'm proud to say that I am one of the brave ones. I loved. For all its magic and mystery, the joys and the sorrows, yes, even the hurts and the pains. It was all worth it. I may have lost a part of me in the process, but I also gain a lot of lessons. I can still laugh at life. I responded to God's call to love. It was a decision patterned after the love of God. I have no regrets! No one is to blame. It is my nature to love.

"And maybe this time I'll have it all

Maybe I make it after all

When I fall in love?"

There is always the call for us to love and take the risk and fall again, for what it's worth. I hope this time it will be forever, maybe this time "we" which is God and I can make it. .. maybe this time there's no letting go.. How will I know if I don't trust again, dream again and love again? The song is more than a love song , for me it was a song of hope. Of better things to come, of joy after the tears, and of rainbows after a storm.