Mga Eksena Sa Jeepney

Case # 1 "Aray, ano ba?"

Madalas na dialogue ng mga babaeng feeling commercial model ng shampoo kung ipatangay sa hangin ang buhok. Mga walang pakialam kahit na ang mga katabi nila ay hirap na hirap na sa pag-iwas sa paghampas nito sa mukha nila. Kaya ako kapag di na ako makapagpigil, hinihila ko na yung buhok, sabay sorry kunwari akala ko buhok ko yun. At kapag sinusumpong ako, kinakalabit ko na at sinasabihan ko "hoy! hindi ako kumakain ng buhok!

Case # 2 "Blah, blah, blah...'

Mga taong feeling sila lang ang sakay na kung mag-usap ay dinig ng lahat ng pasahero. Nakakaaliw sila minsan lalo na't mahaba ang byahe at walang radyo yung jeep. Pampalipas oras din sila, minsan nga gusto ko ng sumabat dun sa kwentuhan nila lalo na kapag nakaka-relate ako. Pero kapag inaantok ako at di na makapagpigil tinitignan ko sila na parang gusto kong dukutin ang lalamunan nila.


Case # 3: "Pakiabot lang po..."

Kapag napaupo ka ng medyo malapit-lapit sa driver, asahan mong magiging taga-abot ka ng bayad. Ok lang sana yun eh, hwag ka lang makaka-tyempo ng driver na may pagka-manyakis o may pagkabading na nanadyang manghaplos ng kamay. O kaya naman ng driver na parang di pa ata nakakaalam na uso na ang deodorant. O kaya naman ng driver na mas malakas pang bumuga sa tambutso nya ang bunganga.
Syempre wala naman akong magawa kundi ang magtakip na lang ng ilong at umurong agad kapag medyo lumuwang. At meron namang mga pasaherong sobrang bait na hindi ka pa nakakapagsalita ay kinukuha na sa kamay mo ang bayad mo. Meron din syempreng matatapang na kapag hindi mo nakuha agad yung bayad nila ay medyo itataas ang boses at may kasama pang ismid. Hay naku, pwede ba wala akong kumisyon sa pag-abot ng bayad nyo ha.

Case # 4: "Makikiusog nga..."

Para sa mga kung umupo ay kala mo pang-dalawang tao ang binayaran. May mga babaeng kung umupo ay nakalihis, walang pakialam na yung katabi nya kalahating pwet na lang ang nakaupo. Meron din mga lalaking kung makaupo ay halos mangingimi kang tumingin sa kanya dahil sa laki ng pagkakabukaka. Animo'y may kung anong pinoprotektahan sa pagitan ng kanyang mga hita. Kapag ipit na ipit na ako, sinasabayan ko ang pag-preno ng mama sa pag-usog.

Pasensyahan na lang kung mapalakas.

Case # 5: "Ooozzz..."

Wala namang masama kung matulog ka habang nasa byahe, pero sana iang walang dantayan at basagan ng bao o di kaya ay matuluan ng panis nyang laway. Kapag may katabi akong natutulog na, hinahayaan ko lang (syempre alangan namang pigilan ko) at kapag babagsak na ung ulo nya sa 'kin, bigla kong ibinababa balikat ko para magulantang sya. Pero kapag cute, syempre ibang usapan na yan. Itinataas ko pa balikat ko para makahilig at ng makatulog sya ng maayos at sasabihin sa driver na pakibagalan lang ng konti.. Ok lang na magka-untugan kami, malay mo magpakilala pa sya, asa pa ako.

Case # 6: "Mama, para ho..."

May mga driver na di mo mapipigilang mapamura sa sobrang tagal bago huminto na halos kailanganin mo ng sumakay pabalik sa layo ng pinagbabaan sa 'yo. Meron namang hihinto kahit na sa gitna ng kalsada mabawasan lang agad ang sakay nya. At meron ding halos mahalikan mo na yung katabi o kung minalas-malas ka ay mahuhulog ka pa dahil sa biglang pagpreno nya. May mga pasahero namang hindi pa nakuntento sa pagkalakas-lakas na pagsabi ng para at kumakatok pa sa bubong. Merong namang magbabayad kapag pababa na at may gana pang magalit kapag hindi agad naihinto ang sasakyan. At syempre merong mga nagmamadaling akala mo ay mauubusan ng lupa kung bumaba, kasehodang mabunggo at matapakan nyang lahat ng daraanan nya. Pero pamatay pa ring yung minsang may nakasakay akong mama na pagkalakas-lakas at paulit-ulit na sumisigaw ng "Bayad ho, bayad ho, bayad ho..." Syempre yung driver, kuntodo extend ng kamay nya. Nakatingin na lahat dun sa mama na kumakatok-katok pa sa bubong ng jeep. Sabay naalala nyang "Para" pala ang dapat nyang isinisigaw. Nyahaha...tawa ko ng tawa pagkababa nung mama!

At meron pa minsan na siguro kakapamili lang at kagagaling lang sa tawaran porsyon sa tiangge, imbes na "Mama, bayad oh!" ang nasabi ba naman ay " Mama, Pagbilan ho!" ay naku di ko alam kung tatawa ba ako ng malakas o hindi at baka ma offend ko cia! har har har

At may isa pa! Dahil sa sobrang pakikipagkwentuhan sa katabi, simula na ata ng sumakay siya eh dakdak na ng dakdak imbes na "Para" ang sabihin eh "BABAY!!" siguro ang nasa isip ng mahadera eh magbabay sa kasama niya pero sa driver niya nasabi! har har har! Kasi naman super daldakina!!!

Case # 7: "Love birds..."

Syempre pa, hindi mawawala ang mga mag-syotang kala mo may sariling mundo na kung maglampungan ay parang mga pusang di mapakali. Libreng sine 'to, rated 18, kaya lang nakakabitin din lalo na kapag nauna kang bumaba sa kanila. Meron tuloy mga lalaking 'nag-iinit' at biglang bibitaw ang kamay sa pagkakahawak sa bakal para kunwari mapapasubsob sa katabi nila o kaya naman bigla mong mararamdaman na yung siko nila nasa tagiliran mo na. Sarap sampalin ng mga ganung lalaki. Di naman sa nakikialam ako, pero wala namang inggitan...

Case # 8: "Estudyante blues..."

Maraming estudyante na nagbabasa ng libro sa loob ng jeep habang nasa biyahe. yung iba sa sobrang ganda ng binabasa ay nadadala sa kwento...'Yung nakasakay ko minsan na dalagita ay taimtim na nagbabasa ng "Noli Me Tangere". Hindi nya napansin na malapit na syang pumara at sa gulat na bababa na pala siya ay mahinhing sinabi sa driver "Paalam". Naku, tawa kami ng tawa sa kanya, pati nga sya ay natawa rin sa sinabi nya.

Caring For A Broken Heart

"Be careful not to seek yourself in love, you can end up with a broken heart that way."

St. Therese of Lisieux wrote that. But what exactly does she mean, given that most of the time love will break our hearts anyway even if we're not seeking ourselves?

The heart breaks in different ways. It can break in a way that softens, purifies, and stretches it in love and selflessness, or it can break in way that makes it bitter, jealous, and cold. Heartbreaks can be warm or cold and, either way, the pain will bring us to our knees and that moment will define us, one way or the other. Let's look at an example:

At the end of the Victor Hugo's, Les Miserables, there's a particularly poignant scene where Jean Val Jean, now an old man, is praying in a inordinately lonely moment. It's the evening of his adopted daughter's wedding, a celebration he is unable to attend. He is on his knees, painfully alone, physically ill, emotionally drained, and acutely aware that the young woman who has brought so much joy and meaning to his life will now be drawing her life from someone else. Indeed she is dancing and celebrating at this very moment when his grief in losing her is so great.

But, despite the pain, his heart is at peace, joyful even, at the knowledge that the young man she has fallen in love with and is marrying will provide her with the very joy that he, as her father, could not give her. In the moment of his deepest loss, he is able to be happy for her and to withdraw quietly without bitterness into that self- effacement and solitude that loss and aging eventually ask of us all. As his heart is breaking, he blesses and lets go, knowing that what is most important, his daughter's happiness, is assured and that, given the mystery of love, his own relationship to his daughter is ensured by his gracefully letting go.

That's one example of a heart breaking, in a good way. The opposite is the heartbreak we experience when we lose somebody and our hearts freeze over in jealousy and bitterness. What that bitterness and coldness reveal in fact is that, all along, it was not the other's well-being we had been seeking, but our own. The proof is that now, when we can no longer be the primary relationship in that other person's life, we no longer really wish him or her well. Indeed, not so subtle is the wish that a certain unhappiness will befall that other, so that he or she will know that it was a mistake to no longer remain primarily invested in us.

That's the antithesis of the blessing we see at the end of Les Miserables where Jean Val Jean, despite the pain of his own loss, can rejoice that someone else can be a more powerful instrument of happiness than he in his daughter's life. He can be happy because his love is for his daughter, not for himself.

Notice what underlies a murder-suicide. There is a broken heart, but when it breaks a rage spews forth that reveals that, all along, the love has not been for the other but for oneself. The cold truth becomes clear: If I can't be the main person in her life, nobody will be! Better her dead, than without me! What kind of love has this been along the way?

We replicate this in subtle ways: Indeed many of the tears we shed are cried not for others but for ourselves. We may think we're crying about someone else's pain, but, more often than not, what is revealed in our tears is more our own possessiveness than our compassion, more our own brokenness than the wounds over which we think we are weeping. In our tears, just as in love, we are often unconsciously seeking ourselves.

We replicate this too, more than we think, in our good deeds and generosity towards others. We can be generous, big-hearted, self- sacrificing, and helpful, as long as we are assured that we are needed, that we are important, that nobody else can quite provide what we are giving. But, should we one day find out that someone else has arrived who is wanted more than we are, we can very quickly become cool and distant, resentful even, because someone else is providing a help and a happiness instead of us, perhaps healthier and deeper than ours. The resentment we feel betrays that, to a large measure, what we were seeking in our generosity was ourselves, not someone else's happiness.

All of this, of course, can be even more painfully true when we fall in love and experience the heartaches and heartbreaks that go with that.

And so is a doctor's warning, a health warning, a fair warning: "Be careful not to seek yourself in love, you can end up with a broken heart that way."

Wasted Time

(for Kaye, after all the bottles were emptied - one drink to remember and the other one to forget)

I really don't think you wasted years of your life, because you spent it with someone you truly loved. I believe that no matter how ugly a relationship turns out to be in the end, there was still a time when it was beautiful, a time when it made us happy. And that should be the measure we use, not the bitterness that we feel inside.

You have allowed anger and hatred to rule your heart. These emotions are toxic and can make your life miserable. Kaye one of the greatest acts of love is the act of forgiveness. It is also one of the most difficult things to do. Keeping ill feeling towards another person is like lighting a fire that eventually grows and consumes us.

Our life should be led by love and compassion and not by the desire to seek vengeance for other people's wrongdoings. He made you curse him but there was once a time when he made you very happy. Look back not at the things that make you feel bad, but at the things that show just how blessed you are.

Kaye, the first step to a new beginning is forgiveness. Cry for a while and then forget about how bad you felt. Accept that you didn't have forever, but you had 12 wonderful years of love. Grieve for a while, but do not regret that you have loved him because it was one of the most beautiful things that happened to your life. Put down the heavy bag of negative emotions that you carry right now, and move on with a new life. Remember that love never gives a guarantee of permanence. But it always gives hope. Love doesn't promise forever, but it gives us faith to believe. Love makes us cry, but the tears that it brings can breathe a new life, a new beginning, and a new hope to those who believe and those who find the courage to move on and love again.